Usher's new woman.

I know this is supposed to be my creative writing blog, but I have got to write about this. I think as fans we have an unrealistic view of the type of partners stars should have. Lets use Usher as an example. His first wife was a shocker. Every where I went people wanted to know how Usher could go from Chilli to Tameka Foster. By all accounts Tameka did not seem to be Usher material. Besides already having three children( correct me if I'm wrong). She was older and taller than him. People saw Tameka's strong jaw as masculine. It wasn't long before the tabloid's renamed her "Manteka". Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I felt Usher was in love. I know Usher slept with more conventionally attractive women. But since Tameka was his stylist, it's possible she was the first women he was around long enough to appreciate her on a deeper level. When Usher filed for divorce I heard cheers. "He's finally come to his senses" they said. Now Usher has been seen with another woman. This one is said to be as unattractive as his estranged wife. People are saying Usher has the "ugly eye." "Hold up" I said. What is the ugly eye? It was explained to me that if someone has the ugly eye, they are attracted to ugly people. My question is would we think Tameka was unattractive if Usher wasn't famous? Without all his money and fame Usher looks just like he could be my next door neighbor. Picture this: Usher Raymond and Tameka Raymond walking in the mall. Usher is not famous and he is walking with his arm around Tameka. Would you look at her, then look at him and think "What is that fine looking man doing with that dog?" I don't think so.

Cabana Swim Club here we come!

“Girl you would think you were thirty. Lift that leg and pull up. Good, good, you got it. Put your right leg over. Uh huh. Now throw the other leg over. Okay jump. See wasn't that hard.” I'm gonna kill this hoe. I can't believe she got me climbing fences and scaling walls like I'm in boot camp. I know I wanted to go swimming, but Sharon is taking it too far. How did I let her talk me into this?
I got to be honest. I can't blame it all on Sharon. When I got home and saw that letter I was so mad I saw red. Only two weeks left of summer and I still hadn't been swimming. All I wanted to do since coming home for summer break is take a dip in the Cabana Club's Olympic-sized pool. My parents let our membership expire when I went away to college. I really didn't think it would be difficult to get another membership. I mean it's the neighborhood swim club for goodness sakes. But just my luck, the club filled up and I'm put on a waiting list. Fortunately, I didn't have to sulk alone. Christy and Sharron couldn't get a membership either.
So there we were on the phone everyday, after work, calling the club wanting to see if anyone had canceled their memberships early. After all people had to go on vacations. Well today was the last straw. That pain in the ass secretary I gofer for had abused me for the last time. I already knew I was calling in sick tomorrow. Let that chick make her own copies.
When I got home the letter was siting next to the hallway phone. I started to sweat when I saw the swim club's name on the envelope. Common sense would've told me it wasn't good news. After all they said they would call when a slot was opened. I was okay reading the rejection letter, until I read the date at the top. The letter was written the day I applied. They let us call them, day after day, when they'd already typed up the letter. I called Christy and Sharon on three-way. We all did a lot of cursing and crying.
About two hours ago Sharon came to my house with the crazy idea to break into the swim club. I'm ashamed to say, it didn't take much convincing. We called Christy's house, but her mom said she was spending the night at her boyfriend's house. So that left me and Sharon to run, jump and crawl our way to the pool.
So here I am getting ready to slide into the forbidden waters of the Cabana Swim Club. I haven't been this relaxed in weeks. Floating on the water has put me in a trance. “Sharron move over girl. You interrupting my flow.” “What? How am I interrupting your flow from all the way other here.” Huh? If Sharron is over there, what's touching my hand? Oh my God it's a head! Oh my God!
I'm screaming but no sound is coming out. I'm fighting water and air trying to get away from the dead body. I can't even speak to tell Sharron what's wrong. I'm pointing to the body in the water and doing a backward crawl as far from the pool as possible. I gotta turn my head. I can't keep looking at it. I can hear Sharron screaming now. “Christy, Christy, Christy!” She's chanting Christy's name like a prayer. I can't believe this is happening. Christy is dead in the Cabana Swim Club pool. Later as we sit in the ambulance, Sharon looks at me and says “That lying bitch! I thought she got a rejection letter too!”